wake

last night i thought i was never going to wake up anymore.

i couldn't even remember what i was dreaming about, but i knew that i was scared and when i wanted to wake up i couldn't move. i knew i was trying to say something to get mr. grumps' attention, but i was mute. instinctively, i prayed. funny how things that you forget or intentionally don't do, suddenly come in handy.

a few seconds after, i was back. i was shivering. i didn't know i could get so scared. i realized i so don't want to die yet. despite those random thoughts sometimes.


****
just saw on facebook that one of our classmates in elementary school passed away. not sure why and when but people had been posting pictures of them with her, and leaving messages of condolence and prayers. whenever someone i know passes on, i always get affected, because i always think that it could have been me. and i could never fathom why, of all people, they were chosen to leave sooner.. and not someone like me?