after an epic weekend with friends in bohol and cebu i decided to fly to manila for my mom's birthday. i think i really made her happy by doing this, and we spent her day having lunch at dampa sa libis and then did a bit of shopping afterwards.
but the highlight of this trip was not really mom's birthday. it was spending time with my dad. great time with my dad.
see, my dad and i were never really close and i know that he doesn't know me in the same way i don't know much about him - aside from the favorite stories that he must have told us a thousand times. dad just always seemed to be a figure in the house. the one who always wakes up and sleeps early. the one who always puts breakfast in front of you and would nag you to eat something before you go. the one who, no matter how much money he has left, would always come back home with ponkan or jelly ace for the youngest daughter (yes, me).
many years ago he decided to stop having rice for dinner and replace that with beer. it seemed to have done well for his health - and i guess for one, when you are able to do what you want to do despite people telling you not to do it, then you truly feel healthy - and he spent most of the nights sitting in the front yard having beer and snacks and chatting with neighbors, or even just sitting still with our dog next to him. from time to time, we'll join in and have a chat with him or simply just have a taste of the appetizers he made (the vinegar cucumber salad and pig ears tapas are awesome!) and walk away as soon as he starts his trip down memory lane.
if you must know, all four of us siblings were not raised to show too much compassion - we were taught to be strong and driven. it wasn't easy growing up with too much expected of you and with no one really to depend on. mom and dad were too busy figuring out how to find the money to feed us and send us to schools that obviously were beyond what they could afford. somehow, things all worked out for us. except, that we grew up too independent of our parents that we barely know them.
and so now that we almost have our own lives sorted out, is the only time that we can actually look back and realize that what our parents did were pretty heroic - and understand why they did all that before. and with this acceptance, it is easier now to get to know them, and it was such a wonderful thing to do. during these past few days that i spent with dad drinking beer and having lechon or balut or whatever, i got to know a lot about him.
then it struck me - i am so much like my dad! he was a wandering soul too - very adventurous, sometimes just doing things without thinking of the consequences too much. he said that when you think too much about things and not do them, then you do not truly live. which is something i believe too. i want to experience the world, both its paradise and evil, or i wouldn't feel complete. like me, he couldn't stay still in a single place for a very long time - he had to move around and about. we both do not run out of money, and yet we do not believe in saving everything for the rainy days: life is about doing what you want to do and money is an enabler. why save up for a future that you do not know about and might not be able to control? instead, live for today, and see the world, and fill your heart with amazement and friendship and love - and if it all fails in the end, no one will be able to take away that which you have experienced.
he told me that i am a wanderer - like him - and must continue to be one. and that, alcoholism is better than gambling. now isn't my dad awesome? :)
but the highlight of this trip was not really mom's birthday. it was spending time with my dad. great time with my dad.
see, my dad and i were never really close and i know that he doesn't know me in the same way i don't know much about him - aside from the favorite stories that he must have told us a thousand times. dad just always seemed to be a figure in the house. the one who always wakes up and sleeps early. the one who always puts breakfast in front of you and would nag you to eat something before you go. the one who, no matter how much money he has left, would always come back home with ponkan or jelly ace for the youngest daughter (yes, me).
many years ago he decided to stop having rice for dinner and replace that with beer. it seemed to have done well for his health - and i guess for one, when you are able to do what you want to do despite people telling you not to do it, then you truly feel healthy - and he spent most of the nights sitting in the front yard having beer and snacks and chatting with neighbors, or even just sitting still with our dog next to him. from time to time, we'll join in and have a chat with him or simply just have a taste of the appetizers he made (the vinegar cucumber salad and pig ears tapas are awesome!) and walk away as soon as he starts his trip down memory lane.
if you must know, all four of us siblings were not raised to show too much compassion - we were taught to be strong and driven. it wasn't easy growing up with too much expected of you and with no one really to depend on. mom and dad were too busy figuring out how to find the money to feed us and send us to schools that obviously were beyond what they could afford. somehow, things all worked out for us. except, that we grew up too independent of our parents that we barely know them.
and so now that we almost have our own lives sorted out, is the only time that we can actually look back and realize that what our parents did were pretty heroic - and understand why they did all that before. and with this acceptance, it is easier now to get to know them, and it was such a wonderful thing to do. during these past few days that i spent with dad drinking beer and having lechon or balut or whatever, i got to know a lot about him.
then it struck me - i am so much like my dad! he was a wandering soul too - very adventurous, sometimes just doing things without thinking of the consequences too much. he said that when you think too much about things and not do them, then you do not truly live. which is something i believe too. i want to experience the world, both its paradise and evil, or i wouldn't feel complete. like me, he couldn't stay still in a single place for a very long time - he had to move around and about. we both do not run out of money, and yet we do not believe in saving everything for the rainy days: life is about doing what you want to do and money is an enabler. why save up for a future that you do not know about and might not be able to control? instead, live for today, and see the world, and fill your heart with amazement and friendship and love - and if it all fails in the end, no one will be able to take away that which you have experienced.
he told me that i am a wanderer - like him - and must continue to be one. and that, alcoholism is better than gambling. now isn't my dad awesome? :)
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